<![CDATA[ Marie Claire ]]> https://www.marieclaire.com Wed, 27 Mar 2024 01:01:06 +0000 en <![CDATA[ Sex Toys That Double As Perfect Gifts ]]> For many people, December marks the season of giving. Retailers across the country slash prices on hundreds of items or come out with ready-made gift sets, aware that countless customers are searching for the perfect items to give their loved ones. And while candles, notebooks, and other wholesome options are perfect for most of the people in our lives, when it comes to our partners, ourselves, or even our close friends, we may want to opt for a gift that's a little more scandalous.

Sex toys, including sex toy advent calendars, vibrators, and dildos, make perfect gifts. After all, they're bound to bring a smile to the receiver's face. And if you're gifting one (or multiple) to yourself, you can consider it a worthy investment in your me-time. Below, sex toys that are perfect for gifting, spanning every sexual preference.

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https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/sex-toy-gift-guide/ kwAZy5Sdqeun5rsq2dY5SG Thu, 30 Nov 2023 15:58:23 +0000
<![CDATA[ Womanizer Just Unveiled the First-Ever Shower Head Sex Toy ]]> For many people, sexual self-pleasure is something that's discovered accidentally—when you rub up against something at an angle that's just right, when you realize that your wand massager can multitask, or when you're in a shower or jacuzzi and find that the water jets feel incredible when pointed down south. Indeed, according to a survey by sexual wellness retailer Lovehoney, around 68 percent of women under 35 have masturbated while bathing. And many online forums and articles about masturbation for beginners advise that the uninitiated (or curious, or newly initiated) begin their self-pleasure journeys by using water pressure from their shower heads. It's safe, inexpensive, gentle (so long as you keep the pressure relatively low), and doesn't involve researching different types of vibrators, dildos, and sex toys

In light of all this, beloved sex toy brand Womanizer just released a brand new sex toy that goes back to basics and makes shower self-pleasure easier and more subtle than ever before: The Womanizer Wave, a shower head that's designed for female masturbation. 

Together with premium bathroom item manufacturer hansgrohe, the brand designed this toy with a sleek, ergonomic shape designed for easy, one-handed use. The shower head is made from high-quality, lightweight ABS material, and contains a control that allows users to adjust the intensity level and pattern of the water pressure. Whether you're using the product to bathe or to have a little fun, you can choose between three luxurious jets: pleasure jet, pleasure whirl, or powder rain. Based on two years of research and testing, the Womanizer Wave was found to be 94 percent more pleasant, 88 percent more arousing, and 86 percent more suitable for self-pleasure than regular showerheads.

Finally, this first-of-its-kind product comes in chrome, black, or white, so it can blend in seamlessly with your existent bathroom décor. It's discreet and practical, marrying the logic behind the most customizable and best vibrators as well as the most effective, high-quality shower heads. With this concept, Womanizer is seeking to smash the taboo and inaccessibility of female masturbation by making it more everyday.

Excited to make shower head a new part of your daily routine? Me, too. You can shop the Womanizer Wave, along with its corresponding hose and a shower head adapter, at Lovehoney's website now.

Shop More Womanizer Products

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https://www.marieclaire.com/womanizer-self-pleasure-showerhead/ t3qocws9tXJJepbr8z48n3 Tue, 06 Jun 2023 16:14:23 +0000
<![CDATA[ Lovehoney Is Having a Rare Sale on Its Best-Selling, Crazy Popular Sex Toys ]]> The month of May, as the sexperts among us may know, is Masturbation Month—a month that highlights the importance of self-pleasure as an act of self-care and self-love. And while masturbation can be accomplished in a number of healthy ways—such as using your hands or grinding—it can be made much easier with a high-quality sex toy. Furthermore, sex toys can introduce users to a huge gamut of unique sensations, such as vibrations, rumbles, suction, and air-pulsing, that can be difficult to replicate with one's hand. Worldwide sex toy retailer Lovehoney is one of my favorite go-to spots for discovering new vibrators, dildos, lingerie, and more, and this Masturbation Month, I'm in luck: The brand is hosting a series of sales, the latest of which takes 50 percent off select Lovehoney favorites.

If you're new to sex toys, this sale is a great opportunity to explore some of the best toys for beginners, as well as top-rated rabbit vibrators, bullet vibrators, sex toys for couples, and more. 

Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator $99 $50 | Lovehoney

This completely waterproof toy has gained fame since its inception for its Pleasure Air technology and suction-like effect, which mimic the sensation of receiving oral sex. It has six different levels of intensity for a slow, comfortable build-up, as well as a 240 minute battery life. View Deal

Lovehoney Deluxe Extra Powerful Rechargeable Wand Massager $150 $75 | Lovehoney

Wand vibrators are among the most popular types of vibrators on the market because of the powerful external stimulation they can bring the clitoris. This model has a battery life of 180 minutes and a flexible silicone head for increased comfort. View Deal

Lovehoney Indulge G-Spot and Clitoral Suction Stimulator $70 $35 | Lovehoney

This rabbit vibrator is flexible, adjustable, and ideal for simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and g-spot. It boasts seven suction speeds and ten vibration modes, including seven distinct patterns and three levels of increasing intensity.View Deal

Desire Luxury Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator $90 $45 | Lovehoney

Another knockout rabbit vibrator option, this ultra-quiet toy has eight vibration patterns, including both gentle waves and intense undulating pulses, in addition to twelve levels of intensity.View Deal

Mantric Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator $70 $35 | Lovehoney

For those who prefer external stimulation dispersed around the clitoris and vulva rather than pinpointed on the clitoris, this vibrator is just the ticket. It has seven adjustable vibration settings, and it's whisper-quiet, too. View Deal

Lovehoney Hop Star Remote Control Suction-Cup Rabbit Vibrator $70 $35 | Lovehoney

This toy is excellent for those who love both deep penetration and clitoral stimulation. It has ten vibration settings, a suction cup base, and can be controlled via remote control, making it perfect for both partnered and easy solo play.View Deal

Lovehoney High Flyer 10 Function Remote Control Cock Ring $70 $35 | Lovehoney

If you love incorporating sex toys into your partner play and your partner has a penis (or you do), consider this luxe cock ring, which can be controlled via remote. It has three vibration speeds and seven patterns, and is meant to pleasure both giver and receiver. View Deal

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https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/lovehoney-bestseller-sale/ wVMb3CvvtU7ecuHBnbxEpZ Tue, 16 May 2023 14:39:31 +0000
<![CDATA[ Sex Toy Brand Velvet Co. Is Having A Huge Sale This Month ]]> In case you haven't heard, May is Masturbation Month—a month devoted to celebrating the benefits of self-pleasure. Masturbation has a variety of benefits, including reduced stress, better sleep, strengthened pelvic floor muscles, menstrual cramp relief, improved self-esteem, and more. And to celebrate this once-taboo self-care practice, a number of sex toy brands are having monumental sales throughout the month, including cult-favorite Velvet Co.

Until May 22, Velvet Co. will be hosting a sale across all its brands, including price cuts to all products starting at 25 percent off. Certain select picks are even 50 percent off, including some of the brand's most iconic toys, like the customizable Universal Thruster as well as the Thruster Mini. 

Below, the must-have picks from this limited sale. Happy Masturbation Month, indeed. 

Velvet Co. The Universal Thruster $160 $80 | Velvet Co. 

This award-winning toy is caters to any and every body, because it's completely customizable. You can choose the color of the head and base as well as the shape of the head, culminating in a toy that looks and feels precisely the way you want it. And when you use the promo code UNIVERSAL at checkout, it's only $80. View Deal

Velvet Co. Universal Thruster Mini $160 $116 | Velvet Co. 

This mini sex toy is made from body-safe silicone, has six different vibration speeds, and is highly flexible. It also has a suction cup base—perfect for a bit of fun in the shower. And when you use the promo code MINI4MAY, you can get it for 30 percent off. View Deal

Velvet Co. Puissante, Mini Coco, Suction Vibrator $100 $90 | Velvet. Co

This suction vibrator is perfect for those who enjoy clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. It's also designed simply, with only two straightforward buttons to adjust its settings and vibration intensities.View Deal

Velvet Co. Alien Sex Toy, Bob $38 $36 | Velvet Co.

This sex toy is perfect for those who prefer a discreet toy that doesn't look like a sex toy. And when you're ready to take it off and put it to use, rest assured that it's effective, with ten unique vibration settings.View Deal

Velvet Co. Puissante, Coco, Suction Vibrator $125 $99| Velvet Co.

Made from high-quality body-safe silicone, this vibrator is double-ended and flexible, with an air pulse stimulator on one end and a traditional vibrator on the other. It also features 10 different modes of functionality, including seven intensity settings and three random modes.View Deal

Velvet Co. Lipstick Vibrator $34 $30 | Velvet Co. 

Yet another subtle option for when you don't want people to know your vibrator is a vibrator, this clever bullet is shaped like a chic tube of lipstick and boasts ten powerful vibration settings. View Deal

Velvet Co. Capo - Vibrating Stainless Steel Dildo $139 $119 | Velvet Co.

Some people prefer metal or glass sex toys—they're smooth to the touch, easy to clean, and safe to use with oil- and silicone-based lubes. And this particular dildo also vibrates, allowing you to enjoy the best aspects of the two most popular types of sex toysView Deal

Velvet Co. Thrusting Vibrating Dildo Set $475 $375 | Velvet Co. 

Looking to completely replenish your sex toy drawer? This set comes with the brand's lipstick bullet vibrator, vibrating metal dildo, signature thruster toy, and a bottle of lube—all for only $375.View Deal

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https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/velvet-co-sale/ 5DaMnXm2AuK5TgmEyTBZsC Mon, 15 May 2023 10:44:56 +0000
<![CDATA[ I'm a Sex Writer—One of My All-Time Favorite Sex Toy Brands Is Having a Huge Sale This Weekend ]]> When it comes to shopping for the best sex toys for you or your partner (or both!), the key is to look for reputable brands that craft their toys using high-quality, body-safe materials. It's also important to explore your personal preferences—maybe you're a rabbit vibrator ride-or-die, or maybe you prefer a dildo, a g-spot vibrator, or an anal vibrator. Regardless, there's undoubtedly something out there for you in the vast world of sex toys, and this weekend, it's easier (and cheaper) than usual to find your perfect vibe: Cult-favorite, woman-owned brand OhMiBod is having a site-wide sale. All you need to do is use the promo code POWER at checkout. 

The sale lasts until May 8, so you only have but a few days to snag these price-slashed, highly coveted goodies, nearly all of which are controllable through a user-friendly mobile app. 

As a writer of sexual wellness, I have a seasoned eye for the very best products to incite ecstasy, so I scoured OhMiBod's site for the very best deals on vibrators, masturbators, and other sex essentials. Your best sex session awaits—and at a fraction of the cost. 

editor's pick

OhMiBod blueMotion Nex|2 - 2nd Generation $129 $97 | OhMiBod

This G-spot vibrator is one of OhMiBod's most popular toys, and this version features a new and improved remote app so that you or your partner can control the toy's seven unique vibration patterns remotely. Plus, it has a battery life of up to two hours, is splash-proof, and is made from body-safe, phthalate-free silicone.View Deal

editor's pick

OhMiBod Esca 2 $69 $52 | OhMiBod

This is another wildly popular toy, beloved by customers and sexperts alike. Its unique, wearable design is made for maximum comfort and pleasure, and both its vibrations and its flashing LED lights are completely controllable via mobile application. View Deal

OhMiBod Club Vibe 3.Oh Panty Vibe $119 $90 | OhMiBod

This pair of vibrating panties is small, lightweight, and quiet enough for public use—with or without a partner. Plus, unlike most vibrating panties, this vibrator comes with a pair of lacy black underwear, a remote control that works even while plugged in, and a bottle of lube. With three vibration modes and and a battery life of over an hour, this vibrator is perfect for spicing up a relationship with some kinky partner play.View Deal

editor's pick

OhMiBod Romp Rose Hot Pink $50 $38 | OhMiBod

For those who prefer clitoral stimulation (at least 80 percent of people with vaginas!), rose toys like this one are absolute staples. And with six intensity levels and four vibration patterns, it makes for the perfect bouquet that never grows old and truly keeps on giving. View Deal

OhMiBod Lumen $119 $90 | OhMiBod

This anal plug is a great anal toy for beginners, especially due to its modest size and its four customizable pulsation modes. It can also be used in tandem with OhMiBod's signature Club Vibe mode, which syncs vibrations to ambient sounds like music—or even moaning.View Deal

OhMiBod Lovelife Share Couples Vibrator $79 $60 |OhMiBod

This ring is a perfect sex toy for couples in which at least one partner has a penis. It's splash-proof and has seven unique vibration patterns, and it has a battery life of a whopping two and a half hours. View Deal

OhMiBod Lovelife Natural Lubricant $14 $11 | OhMiBod

Lube is an essential tool for play that makes sex more comfortable—both solo and partnered sex, toy or no toy. This lube is water soluble and water-based, so you can use it with latex condoms and silicone toys without worrying about either tool degrading. View Deal

OhMiBod Lovelife Flex Kegel Weights $45 $34 | OhMiBod

Kegel weights are excellent for maintaining the health and strength of your pelvic floor muscles, which are necessary for preventing incontinence and keeping up good posture. This set gradually increases in weight so that you can strength train at your own pace.  View Deal

editor's pick

OhMiBod Fuse $149 $112 | OhMiBod

Who doesn't love a good rabbit vibrator? And this particular dual-stimulation toy is, of course, mobile app compatible. It also features three sensors and two LED lights for an enhanced experience. View Deal

OhMiBod Tenga Easy Beat Egg Six Pack $39 $30 | OhMiBod

These masturbators, meant for users with penises, are packaged in a surprisingly adorable way. And although they're small, rest assured that they're made from flexible silicone material designed to adapt to any size. View Deal

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https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/ohmibod-sale/ 3RADSpRzNkerP43m3wUdhM Sat, 06 May 2023 11:48:56 +0000
<![CDATA[ 80 Fun Date Ideas for When You're Tired of Dinner and a Movie ]]> If you're tired of date clichés like dinners out, catching a movie, and/or hitting the bar, we get it—there's so much out there if you take the time to look. Cities have really grown in their capacity to offer truly unique experiences, and if you don't live in a metropolitan area you can recreate some of these ideas at home. When you're trying to get to know someone (and you've gone on a lot of first dates—no shame!), you may want an experience that feels natural, like taking a class together or trying a new activity. You'll both be out of your comfort zones, and you won't fall into those conversational clichés that leave you yawning into your pasta at a local date spot.

A lot of these take place in silence or give you ample opportunity to discuss what's going on around you—even if the date doesn't work out, you get to have the experience regardless! Plus, you'll get to know a person even better by putting them into a situation they're maybe not so used to, like cycling or going to an arcade. Ahead, 80 fun dates—including cheap date ideas for couples on a budget and at-home dates if you're stuck inside—to get you started.

Creative Date Ideas

Make Pasta Together

Make Pasta

(Image credit: yulkapopkova/Getty Images)

Carbs and a significant other? Sign us up. Sure, buying boxed noodles seems easier, but watching someone crank out some dough is an unspoken turn-on. (There, I said it.) 

Decorate a Space

Okay, so caveat that if you're not comfortable inviting someone over to where you live right away, this doesn't have to be your go-to move for a first date. But maybe your date could use your expert interior decorating skills! Maybe there's a common area you could spruce up together! Maybe you could decorate a cubicle or office with some festive decorations! There's lots of ways to decor, you just have to get creative.

Go on a Scavenger Hunt 

Make like Leslie Knope and become a novice treasure hunter! One kind of global treasure hunt is called geocaching, some cities have formal hunts, and universities like MIT actually have competitive annual competitions. You could also just take the stakes way, way lower and just walk around seeing if you can spot certain objects. It's like a hike, with purpose!

Go to Wine School 

You read that right: Not just wine-tasting, wine school. This will help you both feel classy and cultured as you learn about how to properly taste the beverage, differentiate between types, find what you like best, and, yes, taste some delicious wine. There's always something to discuss while you sip! 

Whether you're a true art buff or just along for the ride, this one's a great quiet place for both of you to gauge each other's interests and conversational skills. Choose a fun, exciting gallery or photo exhibit that's not too obscure if you're anxious about not having enough to talk about.

Walk Around a Museum 

Similarly, museums have new or rotating exhibits—even if you've been before, there might be something new to see. They also have spaces to sit, eat, and chat, and potentially architecture or gardens that offer options to walk around. Museums are designed to spark engagement and conversation, which is perfect. At the very least you can laugh about not understanding the significance of everything. 

Shop at a Thrift Store 

Hit up your local Goodwill and give each other 30ish minutes or so to find the craziest outfits for each other to wear to dinner right after. Look at you being all fun and sustainable! The winner gets to choose where you'll dine later, so make sure to go all out.

Throw Yourselves a Mini Party 

On the totally other end of the spectrum, go nuts with a themed bash (guests: the two of you!) featuring inexpensive decorations, some lights, and festive cocktails. You could try a kids' party theme, a luau, a '90s costume party, or something the two of you make up. If you want to expand it into double date territory, great, otherwise just make it the most exclusive party ever.

Go Window-Shopping

In a similar way, if your area has a shop-lined street, go looking without making any impulse purchases. Start fun conversations by going into a wildly expensive store with things you can't afford or a knickknack store with random trinkets. These areas can be bustling around rush hour, with plenty to do and see (plus restaurants if all that perusing works up an appetite).

Take a Cooking Class 

You’ll know right away if the relationship stands a chance once you find out who’s better in the kitchen. Approaching it from the right attitude—just have fun and be willing to make a mess!—means you'll have a blast.

Get to Tie-Dyeing

Get to Tie-Dyeing

(Image credit: ti-ja/Getty Images)

Seventies fashion is having a revival for a reason, so it's the perfect time for you and your date to jump in on the trend. Pick up a tie-dye kit at your local craft store, set up outside, and go all out to who can create the most colorful tee.

Speak at an Open Mic 

It's one thing to attend a poetry reading or comedy show, it's quite another to get up and bare your soul to a group of strangers. Granted, this one's not for people who get stage fright. If that's the case, you can sit and cheer while your date takes the plunge.

Find a Pottery Class

Get your hands dirty and make some art together—you can get to know each other while making a new addition for your home. So, even if the date is bad, you’ll at least feel like your time wasn't wasted. And if the vase looks ridiculous but the date went well, you'll have a funny story!

Hit Up a Karaoke Bar

If it works for mandatory coworker bonding, it's worth a try for a fun stranger date. Even if you're not exactly Zooey Deschanel in the vocals department, it's more about enjoying the moment and showing your personality. Be sure to ask first before you spring it on them, though.

Check Out a Paint and Sip Class

If either of your creative skills are lacking, a class that tell you exactly what to paint and how to paint it may be up your alley. Bring along your favorite bottle of vino and laugh at each other's attempts at becoming Picasso. 

Meet Up for a Mixology Class

Learn how to craft your favorite fancy cocktail—or design an entirely new custom drink together—while taking a mixology class. You might even finally learn what all those accessories that came with the cocktail shaker on your bar cart are used for!

Set Up a Chopped Challenge

Bring out your competitive side and get creative in the kitchen by taking a page out of the Food Network’s book and crafting a Chopped-style challenge for you and your date. Pick a few random ingredients that each of you will need to incorporate into a dish of your choosing, set a time limit, and hit the kitchen. Once time’s up, do a taste-test and score each other’s dishes on taste, presentation, and creativity—and remember, if all goes awry, you can always call in an emergency takeout order to eat instead while you laugh about your culinary fails.

Take in a New Art Form

If you feel like you’ve exhausted all the typical “show” options for dinner-and-a-show dates, it might be time to get a little artsy-fartsy. Rather than heading for the movie theater, comedy club, or concert arena, mix things up by taking in a ballet performance, an opera, a modern dance recital, or a play, then put on your best art critic berets and discuss the ~deeper~ meanings of the performance.

Active Date Ideas

Go Rock Climbing

If you've both got an appetite for adventure and you want to undergo the ultimate "survival test" dating experience, there's nothing quite like being suspended from great heights on a harness while you're clinging for dear life to do it. Alternative: If you'd rather stay Earthbound, try an Escape Room.

Ride Bikes 

Get some fresh air and ride some bikes together. It’s the perfect intro to part two of your date: a picnic in the park (keep reading)—where you can sit down, relax, and enjoy each other’s company. And the food will be worth it, because you exercised!

Go Bowling 

Go Bowling

(Image credit: Getty Images)

Whether you're a strike machine or a ten-pin novice, there's so much fun to be had at a bowling alley, from the beer and cheap pizza to the rush of that first strike. Set up the bumper guards if you want to avoid utter embarrassment or go no-holds-barred for a competitive match. Just...go easy on each other if one of you is better.

Take a Run Around Town

If you and your new date are the athletic sort, what better way to bond than through a shared passion? For anyone hoping for a more...let's call it low-key activity, an exercise class, going to the gym, or even just walking at a decent pace can all fit the bill.

Go for a Skate

Not all roller skaters were born with balance, but taking a risk with a roller skating date can take the seriousness out of a first date that typically involves wining and dining. A few falls later and you'll both be a whole lot closer, if a bit bruised.

Take Dancing Lessons

Sign up for an hour of dancing lessons where both of you are beginners. Even if your partner has two left feet, the act of learning a skill will bond you closer together. Stay for the all-couple dance session afterward once you're starting to get the hang of it, or retire elsewhere for a bite to eat.

Go Axe Throwing 

Not only is this an out-there date idea, but it's a great stress reliever too. There's just something about throwing a heavy ax at a wooden target that just makes us forget about all our worries and lets us act as if we were on a one-on-one Bachelor date.

Go Horseback Riding

We gotta love those The Bachelor dates! To emulate some fairy tale romance, spend a day at the stables riding trail horses for the afternoon. If neither of you have much equestrian experience, take a couple of laps around the paddock before trotting out into the wilderness

Play Mini Golf

Even though you're way past the age for miniature golf, the low-stakes game allows for some lighthearted fun without feeling like you need to be competitive (and if the other person gets a little crazy about it, that'll probably tell you a lot). Plus, the yawn-worthy pace of golf means you can chat and play without any interruption.

Try Sky-Diving

Another date that sounds like it's straight out of The Bachelor, wow your thrill-seeking date with one of the coolest activities out there. Obviously this'll depend on your location and you could trade it out with another heights-heavy activity like bungee-jumping, but it'll immediately establish you as the coolest first date ever. Plus, it'll be hilarious if you're both getting over your fear of heights together.

A Day of Light Sports and Games

If you're definitely not into the traditional first date thing, take a lighthearted sports bar approach to the date night with an outdoorsy game of badminton or beach volleyball. If it gets too hot out, retreat indoors for some board games or table tennis. This can also be a blast as a group activity or with fellow barmates.

Yoga in the Park 

Put on your workout clothes and head to the park for some fresh air and relaxation. Partner yoga positions are always the move, and you can get to know each other in more ways than one (lol). Plus, they'll have new respect for how hard yoga is.

Go Ice Skating

Bundle up, mask included, and go support your local ice skating rink. Learning or teaching (you little pro!) someone a new thing helps bring people together, so get ready to watch the sparks fly. Don't forget to grab some hot chocolate after!

Play a Round of Laser Tag 

No, laser tag is not just for 13-year-olds at birthday parties. It's actually a great way to have some friendly competition on a date, plus it's a fun way to work up a sweat. Up the ante with a little wager: loser has to buy the first round of drinks. 

Fun Date Ideas

Go to IKEA

I know what you're thinking..."Why would I go to a furniture store?" But this isn't just any old furniture store. It's *insert enthusiastic jazz hands here* IKEA! No one has ever sighed before telling someone they were making their merry way to the famous Swedish furniture store (except maybe for the characters on 30 Rock). Also, it has a food court with some incredible cake, which is great after a day full of picking out your dream space.

Seek Out a Pool 

In the warmer months, this could mean a roof deck with a water feature, in the winter it could mean a jacuzzi or splashing around in a public pool. But if you're just hanging out poolside it's a relaxing and chill vibe. If you're actually diving in (pun intended) with bathing suits on...that could actually be quite sexy, right? Just make sure your date's up for it before you go.

Watch a Local Sports Game 

Watch a Local Sports Game

(Image credit: Alys Tomlinson/Getty Images)

Sure, it's fun to watch your city or state's team play, but try a sport you guys have never watched or supported before—like netball or rowing, for instance. Local colleges and universities often have games that are open to the public, and there should be enough space to sit, watch, and listen to yourselves talk while you cheer (and try to explain the rules of the game to each other).

Go to the Beach 

Whether you live by an ocean, lake, or body of water, a day out on the sand is always a calming date spot if the weather's playing nice. If you're feeling it, rock a two-piece and offer to apply sunscreen. Soak in some sunshine near the water and as the day draws to a close, take a romantic stroll with the setting sun as an Instagram-worthy backdrop.

Go to a Carnival 

Appeal to your inner child by buying tickets for a carnival. Yes, I know, it seems so cliché. But embrace the cheesiness—share cotton candy, let them try to win you a prize, and ride a roller coaster if you've got the stomach for it. It's a great way to get to know each other while having fun at the same time, and talking about your memories of childhood.

Sample Treats at a Food Festival 

Big holidays like Chinese New Year and annual food festivals are excellent opportunities to sample bites while you get to know someone. All the various food options and the mingling in a crowd will give you a good chance to survey how adventurous and adaptable the other person is, too. Bonus: You might find a new place for an upcoming dinner date.

Attend an Outdoor Concert

This one's a definite time commitment, so you might want to get to know each other over a drink or meal before going for this option. But the perks of an outdoor show, especially if you both love the band, are the good vibes. If there's space on the lawn, pack a blanket or get up close and personal in the pit.

Go to a Comedy Show

Sharing a few laughs is one way to become closer to your date. Head to your favorite comedian's show or pop in at an open mic night for some lighthearted fun. If the two of you are really feeling brave, sit in the front row and maybe you'll get picked on for a few jokes at your expense. 

Head to the Aquarium 

No ambience is more romantic than the hush of a soft-lit aquarium. Stroll through the darkened rooms while you point out your favorite creatures behind the glass. Some aquariums offer interactive educational exhibits and teach guests eco-friendly ways to clean up the ocean, so you'll feel like you got something out of it.

Go on a (Mini) Vacation

For those who love to travel but don't want to (or can't) go far, take a bus or a train an hour away to see the local sights and just get away from your daily routine. Treat it like a real vacay, with fun local snacks and sightseeing. Even though it's just a skip and a jump away, it's like a whole new world.

Go Get Sundaes

Don't just walk to get ice cream—really lean in. Compete to see which one of you can craft the most delicious/ridiculous concoction, then race to eat them before they melt. Bonus points if you can make something that your date wants more than their own.

Take a Ferry Ride

The length of a 30-minute ferry ride from one locale to the other is the perfect bite-sized date option for people who don't want to have to drag things out over dinner or drinks. It's a good chance to get fresh air and suss out whether you might actually want to go on a post-excursion drink or coffee.

Attend Trivia Night at a Local Bar

Combine powers to form a dream team at trivia night. You'll laugh as you wrack your brains for city names and bond over your shared knowledge of obscure horror films. Plus, drinks are usually on the house if you both you end up winning.

Go to a Brewery 

One great all-season date for booze lovers is a brewery tour. You can sip on the latest IPAs and ciders while getting to know each other—it's a win-win. The same goes for a winery or cidery: Most places know that they key is a killer ambiance.

Go to a Burlesque or Drag Show

Don't be intimidated! These acts are designed to be entertaining, sexy, and/or laugh out loud funny. The scene is loud and boisterous, and the food and drink scene is usually fun too. It's like the ol' dinner and a show—but make it cool. 

Play Some Arcade Games

Play Some Arcade Games

(Image credit: Getty Images)

For those with a short attention span and an adventurous spirit, get to know your date over an adrenaline-racing round of arcade games. Play up your competitive side or join forces as a team against another pair with a game of foosball. And, if you're terrible at games like me, play a couple rounds then cheer your date on as they're crushing it.

Take a Boat Tour

Or, if you'd rather see things from the water, be it a water taxi or duck boat tour, this can be a fun date option (and some boats offer cocktails, as another plus!). Obviously this requires, you know, a sizable body of water. Alternative ideas for anyone who's landbound: kayaking or fishing at a local lake.

Work on a Puzzle 

Call us old fashioned, but nothing is more relaxing than putting together a 500-piece puzzle together with someone. The conversation flows, and if you run out of stuff to talk about, you can just hold up a piece to ask where it's counterpart is. BOOM, instant conversation. Don't forget to check out our favorite puzzles here.

Watch an Old Movie—Outside

There are plenty of open-air venues like parks and rooftops that you can go to during the summer months; Even better, a lot of them have old, classic movies or shows (my first date with my husband was Hitchcock's To Catch a Thief at a park in Brooklyn, so I'm FULLY in on this one). The shared atmosphere and classic flick are a perfect combo.

Play a Video Game

Thanks to the 21st century, you don't have to be in the same room to play each other in your favorite video games. Gaming consoles that you can take on the go, like the Nintendo Switch, can allow you to indulge in some friendly competition from wherever.

Volunteer Locally 

If you both have a cause you support (or, if there's a place nearby that needs your help), consider signing up to volunteer. There'll be plenty to keep you busy, you'll feel like your time went to good use, and you may even bond over the experience.

Support the Local Arts

It's pretty much a guarantee that you'll find a local play, poetry reading, dance troupe, or other public event to attend—and it's supporting local culture, even if it doesn't end up being your cup of tea.

Go on a Ghost Tour

There's nothing like some collective scares to bring people together. If your town has some history on it, there's a good chance there's a local guide to share the town's local haunts. A ghost tour under the stars may sound eerie to some, but to fright-lovers, it's an ideal first date. 

Ride Some Roller Coasters

If you're both thrill-seekers, an amusement park is a great way to spend a day. Just think of all deep convos you can have standing in line for rides. Plus, roller coasters and games have a way of bringing out the fun side of people.  

Try Out an Escape Room

You'll find out just how compatible you and your date are in a matter of minutes in an escape room. The two of you will have to work together to solve riddles and uncover clues to discover the secret of the room. These can be seriously fun, or seriously infuriating depending on who you're with, so proceed with caution. 

Walk Around the Zoo

Show off your knowledge of your favorite animals at your local zoo. Not only is it a sure way to get your steps in, but it's a fun way to spend the time outdoors. Plus, you can always use the excuse of the chilly penguin house to cuddle up to your date. 

Ride on Scooters

If your town has Bird or Lime scooters, consider yourself lucky. Not only are they a cheap and easy way to get around town, but they would also make for a really fun date. Spend a few dollars and go for a joy ride or just use them to take you to your next date destination in style. 

Find a Board Game Bar

Board game bars are popping up everywhere these days. Snag a table, order a round of drinks or some bites to eat, and settle in for some friendly competition. It’s up to you whether you introduce each other to your childhood faves or learn the rules of a new game together—then prepare for victory at the next couples game night you’re invited to.

Book a Food Tour

Instead of pairing your dinner with a show, make the meal itself the entertainment: Either sign up for a local food tour around your city—whether organized around a specific neighborhood, cuisine, or historical event—or build your own, complete with score sheets, with a goal of looking for the city’s best doughnut, dumpling, or slice of pizza.

Cute Date Ideas

Stargaze Together 

Stargaze Together

(Image credit: Anthony Sabatino / EyeEm / Getty Images)

You + the great outdoors + the ideal social distancing meet up + your date who you pray is into this as much as you are = the perfect date. Don't forget to bring a comfy blanket, some snacks, and have a chill playlist for your evening under the stars.

Pack a Picnic

Keep it simple with a stroll through the park followed by a picnic lunch on the green. Pick out your favorite frozen treats from an ice cream vendor, and chat while you hang out in the grass. You can even people watch while you're at it. The best part? It's cheaper than an expensive dinner.

Peruse a Farmers Market

Feel sustainable and healthy (and maybe pick up something for dinner) as you walk by stands of gorgeous fruits, vegetables, and locally made goods. If you've never been, it's also a way to educate yourselves on what's in season and what cool local vendors have delicious stuff you can add to your meal rotation. 

Make Like Tourists in Your Own Neighborhood

Pick a couple nearby landmarks or activities and commit to experiencing them like you don't live there. The act of embarking on a local trip will make for a unique shared experience and will give you the fun feeling of "discovering" your area for the first time. Fanny pack optional.

Go to a Planetarium 

The hushed atmosphere of a planetarium combined with the dark room make for an ideal ambiance for a first date. Spend an evening gazing at the stars and learning about the constellations, with lots of hand-holding potential. My now-husband dragged me to a planetarium early on and I was surprised by how much of a blast I had.

Tour a Botanical Garden

There's no better place to explore on a date than the pretty manicured lawns and gardens of a botanical garden. Pro tip: Plan to go later in the day or after the summer rush if you don't want to find yourself sweating in a greenhouse at mid-day. If they allow food, this can also be a perfect picnic spot.

Get Each Other a Gift 

Obviously you don't know each other well yet, so go to a store that sells knickknacks and see if you can get something small and inexpensive to make the other person laugh. Or just browse the oddities together and enjoy each other's company.

Share Your Favorite Spot

Is there a beautiful mural you love by your home? The perfect place to watch the sunset? That little hole-in-the-wall bakery with the best donuts? Take a walk and share the little details that you love about your area, and encourage the other person to do the same.

Restaurant Hop

If you’re near one of their locations, Eataly is the perfect place to explore and eat some great food. If not, try and find some local food trucks to get a taste (or two or three) of what they enjoy. Instead of settling in and only experiencing one place, hopping around can make for some fun discussion.

Get an Aura Reading

Good vibes ONLY. You can joke with them and say you’re into horoscopes, but really you’re there to find out if you're wasting your time (#priorities). Some people may not be into this, but if you turn it into a fun hangout it’ll make the date way more memorable than dinner and a movie.

Peruse a Bookstore

When you're both book nerds, a day spent browsing your local bookstore is the ideal setup to get you bonding over your favorite titles. It also allows you to give each other suggestions on what to read next. Just making sure you're not getting too lost among the shelves that you're not paying attention to your date.

Watch the Sunrise

This may not be for everyone (a person who doesn't like getting up early, for example), or for every time of year, but there's something magical about trucking out together in the early morning to watch the sky change color. Bonus: Go to brunch after.

Head to the Spa

Get solo or couples' massages! Chill out in the jacuzzi! Hang out in the sauna! There's so much to do here, especially after a long, exhausting day. Just make sure you're both at the same level of comfort (maybe one of you prefers a non-nude spa, you know?).

Attend an Open House

Have you ever walked by an open house of a beautiful building and think, It must be so gorgeous in there. Go see how the other half lives, ogle some stunning decor, and talk about what you like and don't like. Best case: It might be useful later on! Worst case: cool architecture, and you don't have to talk much. 

Find a Gorgeous View

Regardless of whether your town/city has a ferris wheel, observation deck, or other sky-high view, go and find a location that helps you see your area from a new perspective. That could be traveling a few miles out or even just going to a roof deck to help you look at things in a new way together.

Go Fruit Picking

As long as it's not winter, there's likely a farm nearby where you can stroll along and pick fruits like berries, apples, and even pumpkins. Help each other pick the best fruit over great convos then enjoy a cup of cider or two. If the date goes really well, you can even head home a bake yourselves a pie as a reward for your labor. 

Meet Furry Friends at a Cat Cafe

Why drink coffee at a regular cafe when you can drink coffee at a cat cafe? Sip on your espresso drink of choice while surrounded by cute, cuddly cats. Who knows? Maybe one of you will head home with a new furry friend. 

Head to the Dog Park

Take Fido out to the dog park for some much-needed playtime. You'll both get a kick out of watching the pups and your dog will love the chance to expel some energy. It's a win-win. Don't have a dog? Sneak in for as long as you can before someone calls you out on it. 

Enjoy a Bonfire

If either of you have a yard, then you're set to have a romantic evening under the stars. Grab some firewood, smores, blankets, and lawn chairs and chat around a bonfire. It's a cheap way to get to know someone and who doesn't love the smell of a bonfire? 

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https://www.marieclaire.com/love-sex/best-date-ideas/ NZqMisafPqHH4ziEfzwG7m Fri, 07 Apr 2023 10:31:12 +0000
<![CDATA[ Woman-Founded Brand Babeland Is Celebrating Women's History Month With A Huge Sale ]]> Every March, we celebrate Women's History Month by supporting female artists and entrepreneurs, fighting for women's rights, and thinking about the ways we can support the women in our lives—including ourselves—on a daily basis. This means demanding equality and respect in the boardroom, the courtroom, and, of course, the bedroom. After all, bell hooks herself said that to love women "all the way" means "respecting our sexual rights"—and that includes our right to pleasure. 

So, this month consider indulging in a vibrator or dildo so that you can better explore your needs and desires. In fact, there's no better time than now to look into expanding (or starting!) your sex toy collection: Woman-founded sex toy retailer Babeland is hosting a tremendous online sale in which you can take $25 off any order of more than $125 when you use the promo code MARCH25 at checkout. Plus, you can get free (and discreet) shipping when you spend at least $69 on the site. 

The best part? The brand is partnering with the National Network of Abortion Funds, offering limited edition merchandise whose proceeds go towards providing women in need with safe, affordable abortions. On Babeland's site, you can also easily add a donation as low as $1 to your subtotal when you check out.

Below, check out some of my favorite items from the sale. Could there possibly be a more pleasurable way to donate to women's rights? If there is, I've yet to find it. 

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https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/babeland-march-sale/ hiqe2QCxZBB2brm5cuhHKd Tue, 07 Mar 2023 17:17:35 +0000
<![CDATA[ Power Pick: Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace ]]> Welcome to Power Picks, a monthly series on the things that help us navigate our lives, step into our personal power, or simply get us through our day-to-day. Our hope is that by sharing what makes us feel great, we can help you feel great, too.


As a passionate proponent and writer of all things sexual wellness, I admit that I own a vibrator or two (or three or four...). Each one is a little different, geared toward g-spot or clitoral stimulation or both, and they're made from various materials and intended for various purposes, whether for solo or partner play. But of all the sex toys I've encountered, I've never come to know anything remotely comparable to the Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace. 

The basics: This fully functioning bullet vibrator is made from body-safe stainless steel with a single silicone button positioned at its base. The button both turns the vibrator on and allows users to cycle between the tool's four separate vibration speeds as well as its two modes: constant or pulsing. And, uniquely, the vibrator comes with a removable chain at its base so that it can be worn as a long necklace.

When it comes to vibration quality, this toy packs an impressive punch—especially considering its small size. I've often turned it on while in social settings so that my curious friends can feel how intense the vibrations are, and every time, their eyes widen and they marvel at how such a tiny, thin piece of steel can yield such a strong (but quiet!) effect. 

But that's not the only reason this vibrator makes me feel so empowered.

Since I was in high school, I've always loved wearing necklaces—particularly long ones that reach down to my sternum, transforming any plain shirt or lackluster outfit into something far more unique. Jewelry has always been one of my favorite ways of expressing myself, and I like buying pieces that speak to who I am and what I believe in, much in the same way that one buys pins or patches announcing their political stances. And to me, wearing a vibrator as a necklace is not just a highly effective way of upping one's flirting game, though it is certainly that. It is also one of the most powerful means of announcing myself as a feminist. 

A number of studies, both anecdotal and statistical, point to the fact that a lack of sexual education increases rates of sexual assault and teen pregnancy. When children and adolescents are not taught about contraception and pleasure before they begin to have sex (which is the case for more than 60 percent of sexually active young adults in the U.S.), they don't understand how to prevent STDs or unwanted pregnancies, and they don't possess the emotional and communication tools needed to navigate mutual consent and pleasure. Furthermore, denying young people comprehensive, practical, pleasure-inclusive sexual education means denying them the tools they need to identify, prevent, and address sexual assault when it happens—something that has a particularly traumatic impact on women and the LGBTQ community. 

Finally, when we teach abstinence-only sexual education, we remove female and LGBTQ pleasure from the equation entirely. This sets these communities up to believe that their pleasure, and therefore their consent, is entirely unnecessary, when in reality it's absolutely essential. 

For these reasons, I like talking about sex—particularly about female pleasure and how important it is—just about any chance I get. I believe that, by being open and unashamed, each and every one of us has the power to erase stigma and to help others release their own feelings of shame. I love that my Vesper Vibrator Necklace starts countless conversations about sex, pleasure, and sex toys; love that it creates a fun, low-pressure environment in which people feel more comfortable talking about their own experiences with pleasure and perceptions about toys. 

And I feel powerful when I'm wearing my Vesper. Although it's subtle, and even my most sexually liberated friends don't realize that it's a vibrator, wearing my Vesper is my way of infusing my ensemble with my feminist beliefs. It asserts my stance as a sex-positive woman who prioritizes her own experience, who has the courage to pursue what she wants and needs, and who believes herself worthy of pleasure—and chic, high-performance pleasure, at that. 

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https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/crave-vesper-vibrator-necklace/ 6PXj72mW9rYQFQhRWc5RC6 Mon, 27 Feb 2023 14:42:01 +0000
<![CDATA[ Lovehoney's Valentine's Day Sale: Our Editor's Picks ]]> Whether you're single, in a relationship, or in a situationship this year, Valentine's Day is a perfect opportunity to show a little love and to prioritize pleasure. Sexual intimacy is a great tool for connecting with both yourself and your partner: Partnered sex can make you feel closer, more playful, and more vulnerable with your partner, while solo sex (a.k.a. masturbation) can increase self-esteem and body positivity as well as help you understand what makes you feel good. For this sort of exploration, I recommend checking out different kinds of sex toys, including vibrators, dildos, anal toys, and more, so that you can open yourself up to new sensations and get a little more adventurous with yourself and/or your partner. 

Does all this speak to you? Then you're in luck. This week, online sex retailer Lovehoney is having a tremendous sale that involves up to 50 percent off of select sex toys, $25 and under lingerie, and free (and discreet) one-day shipping when you spend at least $200. Plus, all of their products are rigorously tested and vetted, so you can trust that you're receiving high-quality items made exclusively from body-safe material.

Magic Wand Rechargeable Extra Powerful Cordless Vibrator $150 $120 | Lovehoney

This magic wand is one of the most popular and recognizable sex toys of all time, having been name-dropped in shows like Sex and The City. View Deal

Lovehoney Touch Me Rechargeable Silicone Finger Vibrator $37 $19 | Lovehoney

This silicone vibrator is meant to wrap around one's finger like a ring, making it a divine addition to either partnered or solo play. Reviewers say that it's easy to use and recharge, and that its vibrations are surprisingly intense for its size.View Deal

Lovehoney Moonlight Desire Red Satin Crotchless Teddy $50 $25 | Lovehoney

Heat things up this V-Day with this crotchless, bright red teddie from Lovehoney. Reviewers say that it's supportive and form-fitting without being too tight, but advise that you size up when buying. View Deal

Lovehoney Secret Agent Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg $50 $25 | Lovehoney

Looking for something to spice up date night? Consider this remote-controlled toy. The vibrator itself is the perfect size to fit inside a pair of underwear, and you can give the remote to your partner so they can sneakily control your pleasure from afar (or from across the dinner table). View Deal

Lovehoney Indulge G-Spot and Clitoral Suction Stimulator $70 $49 | Lovehoney

For those who enjoy dual stimulation (simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and the g-spot), consider this splash-proof toy. It's highly customizable, with seven suction speeds on its clitoral component, along with ten vibration modes, seven vibration patterns, and three levels of intensity. View Deal

Lovehoney Rose Clitoral Suction Stimulator $50 $35 | Lovehoney

This pretty, V-Day appropriate toy is a bestseller on Lovehoney's site, and is meant to simulate the intense sensation of receiving oral sex. In the words of one reviewer, "all I can say is that the hype is real."View Deal

Womanizer Classic 2 Rechargeable Clitoral Suction Stimulator $129 $103 | Lovehoney

This luxury sex toy is one of the most highly rated and most popular toys on the internet, and with good reason. Its unique clitoral-stimulating technology makes for intense orgasms, and it even includes an "afterglow" setting to use post-orgasm so that you don't end up feeling overstimulated.View Deal

Tracey Cox Supersex Strap-On Pegging Kit (4 Piece) $70 $42 | Lovehoney

This kit includes everything you need to start experimenting with a strap-on: A dildo, harness, vibrator, and set of o-rings (which you can place on the shaft of the dildo to control the depth of penetration). Reviewers love it, writing that it fits comfortably and is easy to use. View Deal

Lovehoney Fierce Erotic Open-Cup Crotchless Bustier Set $35 $19 | Lovehoney

Don this ultra-sexy set for a little post-Valentine's-date fun. Multiple customers write that the bustier "leaves little to the imagination." Plus, it's crotchless, so you can have fun without ever needing to take it off.View Deal

Lovehoney Booty Wonderland Vibrating Anal Beads Set $40 $20 | Lovehoney

Anal beads are a great way to get started with anal play, and this vibrating set comes particularly recommended. According to reviewers, the vibration settings are gentle enough for foreplay and for beginners. View Deal

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https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/lovehoney-valentines-sale/ ZWy8efCW6Xri9DtVL7zrYS Tue, 14 Feb 2023 13:26:38 +0000
<![CDATA[ How To Spice Up A Relationship, According To Relationship Expert Esther Perel ]]> Like anything, else you encounter on a daily basis, it's possible to fall into a monotony or a lull while in a long-term romantic relationship. Countless books and lectures have been devoted to the question of how to spice up a relationship, particularly when it comes to sexual intimacy.

"We are creatures of repetition," famed Belgian relationship therapist Esther Perel admits. "In that sense, we all live with routines. Repetition anchors us; repetition gives us structure; repetition gives us predictability, familiarity, a sense of knowing what to do, confidence. So can you avoid monotony? No, you cannot. That is intrinsic to reality."

However, she says, there is hope—so long as you're willing to use a bit of imagination. "We live with routine, we are bound to be in monotony of some sort or repetition," she says, "but through our imagination, freedom in confinement or freedom in reality comes to our imagination. Our imagination is limitless, and can take us outside of every restricted area."

For instance, she gives the example of tying one's shoes: "I know how to tie my shoes. I can turn this routine of tying my shoes into a very erotic experience, with you pulling very, very slowly at my laces. Same gesture, completely different rhythm, completely different intention and meaning, and therefore a different relationship."

But in your everyday life, you may not be willing to turn your shoe-tying experience into a sexual experience, particularly if you and/or your partner are scrambling out the door. Thus, we've asked Esther Perel to unpack her best, most practical ways of spicing up your relationship. Not only are her tips shockingly simple, but they're also easy to incorporate into your everyday life. You'll never have to worry about the state of your spark again. 

Get Playful

Venturing outside the ordinary—in any context, but especially in a sexual or emotional context—can feel scary. For this reason, Perel says to ease the shock by using play as a means of adding that much-needed spice to your romantic repertoire.

"Playfulness is when risk taking is fun," she says. "Playing gives you permission that reality doesn't necessarily allow you, and you can say, 'I want to not be in our everyday lives. Let's step out of the everyday.' This transcends the boundaries of the mundane."

There are a number of ways of incorporating play into your relationship, from sex games to sex card games to roleplay to kink. Below, some sure-fire options to get you going. 

Set the Mood

If you're having trouble spicing up your relationship or keeping sensuality alive, Perel says that one of the first actions you should take is to ensure that you have a dedicated space for sexual play so that you (and your partner) are able to "take yourself out of one mode, out of one role in your relationship, and give yourself the permission to enter into another role." This, she says, means "transitioning into an erotic place, and thus your erotic self."

So, what does that mean in terms of logistics? "If you want to spice something up, don't have your room be a pigsty," she says. 

"When you go to the gym, you'd go to a dedicated place," she reminds us. "When you go to pray, or when you go to meditate, you go to a dedicated place. When you go to a restaurant, you go to a dedicated place. The restaurant doesn't look like your bedroom, so your bedroom shouldn't look like your kitchen or like your laundry room. This is because we are highly suggestive and suggestible to the environment. It gives a sense of meaning to what we are about to experience."

If your room is looking more sulky than sultry these days, try buying silky sheets, hanging sensual art, or experimenting with low lighting like candles and warm lamps.

Be Curious About Each Other

"Spicing up is about curiosity," says Perel. "Curiosity is about the willingness to engage with the mystery and the unknown that lives right next to you. The reason it is so difficult to spice up is because when we want familiarity and comfort, we don't want mystery and unknown right next to us. We want to feel that we know this person inside and out, and vice versa. That's why love and desire often are in a paradoxical relationship with each other, because love wants the comfort, the predictability, the familiarity, but desire wants the unknown, the mystery, the discovery, the exploration. That's the spicing."

However, she says, there are ways of keeping mystery and curiosity alive while also retaining a sense of comfort and familiarity.

In particular, she tells us that she always mentally returns to the same potential scenario: "My classic image used to be that you go out for dinner with friends and you find yourself talking about all kinds of things. Your partner suddenly talks about the books or the movies they saw, and you look at them and say, 'Wow, I didn't even know you liked that.' Then, you go back in the car, you have the opportunity to continue a very interesting conversation, and lo and behold, you sit down and you start talking about who's going to the supermarket tomorrow morning. But why didn't you continue that conversation?" 

The significance of this scenario, she says, is that it's a case in which "you suddenly realize that you actually are both interesting people who have a lot to say." This contrasts with "the complacency of the everyday management." Often, she says, "You ask, 'How was your day?' Or you ask, 'How is so-and-so?' But you don't ask 'What has this transition been like for you?' or 'What was it like for you when you got to do this project and have a conversation that you've never been able to have?'"

While questions such as these may be uncomfortable to ask at first, she says that they play a key role in keeping the romantic spark alive. "It's that next level that says, 'I'm still curious about you. I don't know you completely. You're not the inside of my pocket,'" she argues. 

Get Vulnerable

Perel reminds us, "Deeper intimacy goes with more risk. More risk goes with trust. Trust goes with more risk. It circles. Deeper intimacy is into-me-see. So how I invite you to see into me?"

Whether you've just begun dating or you've been together for years, it can always be a little anxiety-inducing to open up about your thoughts, desires, or insecurities. Furthermore, when you're immersed in the routine of daily life, it may be difficult to find the right moment to talk about the way you feel. 

If you're having trouble opening up to your partner to the extent that you wish, Perel suggests trying to do so through play. "It's the way that you learn; it's the way that you can safely take risk," she says. "When a child is playing , they're taking all kinds of risks imagining themselves, propelling themselves into a script. They can try out a lot of things because the consequences are not the same because you're playing. So in the realm of our imagination, we can experience a degree of freedom that the limitations of reality can never afford us."

For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.

Meet the Expert

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https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/how-to-spice-up-a-relationship/ 8XedTDG4zbWmvtTttqquhK Mon, 23 Jan 2023 17:47:53 +0000